Our New Prime Real Estate!!!

9:02 pm to family

GUESS WHAT???  We are getting a piece of PRIME REAL ESTATE!  In Scottsdale!!  Both dad & I are really excited about this- we have spent lots of time checking it out.  I put in a picture of dad on the land!  (And he is smiling.)  mom

10:13 AM to family

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...some of you have not said anything about our "prime real estate" purchase.  Did you look closely at it????  Did you see where it was located????  Did you see the angel in the background????

Here are some things Dad & I have discussed over the last couple days:

Moving George to our plot- the sad news is that after 40+ years, there probably isn't anything left but dirt at George's plot.  Plus it is pretty pricey to dig, even just to check if there is anything there, to the tune of $5000!!!  Being the frugal people that we are, we plan to take a little shovel down to Memory Lawn and just get some of the dirt and put it in a zip lock baggie and put it in one of the caskets.  Then we will get a larger headstone and put the traditional names and dates for me and dad and put George's name and date at the bottom (this part is for reals).  Plus you can have a drawing on the headstone so if you want to really visit George, we will put a map to Memory Lawn on there (this part is not for reals).

Dad and I both want to be buried with a prized possession.  For dad, he wants to have his blue blanket tucked around his feet.  And you know how the hands are placed together at the chest- well, dad wants to have a salt shaker in one hand and a can of spam in the other.  On the fabric part of the lid, he wants an embroidered Spam emblem and for the luncheon afterwards, have fried spam served.  For mom, I want to have Jenny buried with me.  And under George's name on the headstone, I want Jenny's name.  Wait a minute, she'S saying something - "Stop!  Wait!  I still have a lot of life left in me!!!"  (You can decide for yourself what is for reals here.)

It was good for us to see how pricey some of these things are.  They don't accept coupons or give cash discounts.  (And no, we really didn't ask.)  You can get a plot with a bench next to it for $15,000 to $20,000.  The bench does have a name carved on the side as a perk though.  And you could pick to be buried under a tree.  There are lots of perks to that- you have shade and we would hang our wind chime there.  The downside is that all the birds in the tree poop on the bench with your name on it.  You know us (and you inherited some of these same qualities) and we couldn't see spending all that extra money for a bench and a tree, so we are happy to find our prime real estate next to a free tree that has a stone bench around the tree- maybe we can go in the middle of the night and carve our name on THAT bench.  And they would never know who did it- no clues left behind.

We feel that we were in the right place at the right time to get this plot- it had been reserved but they just found out that the people reserving it changed their minds.  And so we are grabbing it up!  And we do like the idea that this takes any pressure about decisions off you kids.  And it will be paid for so that is not a worry.  Hope you enjoy and can see some of the humor in all this like we do.  Love you all.  mom & dad

DISCLAIMER: This purchase in no way indicates any new or recurring health issues.  The purchase was done solely on a desire to spend kids' inheritance money.

RESPONSES

From Mike-

9:17 AM

I thought you were referencing a plot in Parowan when you talk about Prime real estate.  Pretty fun, though.

So is that part of his birthday present?

Mom to Mike-

10:16 AM

I will have to tell dad that this IS his birthday present!!!  AND then for my present, I want something of equal or greater value  .  No, really, we just figured that since we weren't invited to join you in Parowan, we would just have to find our own place down here. 
Now do you feel bad????

From Mike-

10:21 AM

It’s not too late, we can hook you up with a couple of Parowan plots.  I could drive the casket up after the funeral (Alissa’s dad had to do that for his dad).

 

From Mike-11:13 AM

One last tempting thought – I think our plots were $250 each…

Mom to Mike-
11:32 AM

Boy, you sure make it tempting!  But I think the lights of big city Phoenix are calling to us.  Plus, there are sooo many good restaurants here!  Okay, maybe we won't be able to eat at them but we could smell the food.  Plus, we want to see if you will still come to visit us in Phoenix. 

Mom to Mike-

12:41

BUT if you shared them with us (and thanks for that very nice invitation), they would only be $125 each.  I do need to get clarification- would dad be with you and I would be with Alissa???

From Mike-

1:34 PM

We’d probably have to flip a coin to see who gets to be with who

Mom to Mike-

2:19 PM

I don't know- do you or Alissa snore?  Hog the blankets?  We have a choice of "sharing the air" type of vault or separate ones but I asked dad if it would be like now and I would find him pulling all the sheets over to his side.

From Alissa-

11:00 AM

I had to go back and find the picture, since I haven't been in my email for a couple days. When you said Angel, I kept looking for an Angel Moroni in the leaves of the trees, before I realized it was that statue in the back. The prime property looks beautiful. It almost looks like someone's backyard.  It will be fun to hear the rest of the details. My dad picked out the song he wants played at his funeral, and gave it to me a long time ago to learn. I'm still working on it, so he can't go yet :)

Sounds like the clearance section of plots is in Parowan. I think we bought our plots for $300 each. No coupons needed!

Mom to Alissa-

11:14 AM

I am PROUD of you- you got a bargain!!!  And that's what is important- right? I hope that your plots are BIG ones though.  Mike just wrote and offered to have us join you.  And I am sure that he meant share the plots- dad with him and me with you  .  The property for us is nice but it is also very hot in AZ and the picture looks better than reality until the winter grass comes in.  I really do like the rose bush that is on the corner though.

Mandy to Mom-

11:23 AM

Haha, you two are hilarious. I just hope there aren't any returns on this investment 😅

Mom to Mandy-

11:45 AM

In fact, there is a 90 day free trial!  No cost if it doesn't work out- just remove the casket.  Then they can resell the plot for a discounted price as "used".

(I love that there are sooo many jokes you can make about all this!)

Ruth to Mom-

11:40 AM

😂😂😂 The disclaimer was my favorite part!

Mark to Mom-

1:25 PM

I like the prized possessions you'll each take with you!

Thanks for sending the email; I'm glad you two have no new health issues.

When you sent the first email, I recognized where you took the picture; I just didn't know how to appropriately respond.  I haven't given it much thought in the past because it is so far in the future, but I'm glad it's taken care of now.

Adrianne to Mom-

3:31 PM

😆

That is very kind of you to take care of these types of arrangements.  Adrianne 

Here are pictures of the "free tree and bench".  The rose bush is about in the center of the picture.